I don’t know if you can ever let go of the first band you fell in love with. The music that feels like it’s giving you air when you’re young, confused, and drowning will always have a hold on you, even if you outgrow it. So when I heard Say Anything was playing Cain’s Ballroom the Sunday before Thanksgiving, I knew I had to see them.
Yes, even though they’re touring an album I don’t like that much. Even though their songs have gradually disappeared from my Spotify Wrapped rankings. Even though the lead singer’s reputation has become increasingly murky and dubious in recent years. Sometimes you just owe it to your past self.
Say Anything, after lead singer Max Bemis declared online a few years ago that he’d never tour again, is touring again. They’re on the road to celebrate the 20th anniversary of the album …Is A Real Boy, an impetuous, nose-thumbing record in which a 21-year-old Bemis shrieked about his grimy interactions with girls and generally being angry.
Today, Bemis is a 41-year-old married but recently separated father of five who has muddled through countless mental health struggles and musical meanderings since the release of his sophomore album. It was hard to imagine a punk rocker whose life had led him further from the messages of those early songs. I went to the concert wanting to see how much he’d changed. I knew I had.
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I entered Cain’s with just my car keys, credit card, and ID so I wouldn’t have to manage a purse on the dance floor. It was risky to undertake this endeavor without the Chapstick and Ibuprofen I’m used to having constant access to, but I was ready to reclaim my youth.