Welcome to Ask Tulsa Bae, where we take your questions on dating and romance, shake our heads mournfully at them, and pass them on to Corinne Gaston, our local dating expert. Got a question? Send it to dating@thepickup.com, or fill out our Google Form! Now, on to the column.
Dear Tulsa Bae,
Am I in love with the lady who works at the dry cleaner, or do I just see her every week? She is cute and very friendly to me, but I know a lot less about her and our compatibility than I would someone with a dating app profile, for example. I'm not even sure she's single. Is it appropriate to ask out a service worker? How can I gauge her interest without overstepping a boundary?
Yours,
Rip Van Wrinkle
Dear Rip Van Wrinkle,
It sounds like you’re a self-reflective and considerate person! You have a crush (I love a crush), but are also aware of the elements here muddying the waters: the fact that she’s in a service position, and that you don’t know her too well, or really at all.
There’s a lot written out there about women who work in customer service having their politeness and friendliness misinterpreted as flirting. And there will be plenty of sources telling you not to ask her out. I was originally on the fence, especially as a woman who previously worked as a server and tour guide. But I actually rewrote this entire response to say what felt right to me. And that is: ask her out.