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An Even More Modest Proposal

What’s up with that new median and sidewalk ordinance?

Last week the Tulsa City Council approved an ordinance revision limiting access to the medians and sidewalks on city streets with speed limits over 25 mph.

Panhandling. Nobody likes it, right? I have to imagine the people doing it hate it more than anyone. It’s an option that doesn’t appeal to anyone but the most desperate.

Which is why it’s a little baffling that the Tulsa City Council recently approved an ordinance against occupying space within 18 inches of any roadway with a speed limit over 25 miles per hour for longer than necessary to cross said road.

Got all that?

The idea is to keep people off narrow medians and away from speeding traffic. In practice this ordinance will likely make life more difficult for the homeless and indigent, making it slightly more illegal to exist in public, even if that’s all you can do. There are also concerns about its effect on our First Amendment right to peaceably assemble.

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The fine for this offense is $150, which is equivalent to the current penalty for panhandling. The fine can be modified by a judge or substituted with a diversion or work program for those unable to pay; presumably the majority. 

Look, I see what we’re going for here. I just feel like this is another step down a path we’ve already tried without much success. 

How about this for a modest proposal: instead of a ticket or forced labor, the city sells $150 panhandling licences? Let’s legitimize begging as a craft and soon the desperate and needy will be crowded out by hipsters and technocratic entrepreneurs. 

I’m envisioning panhandling tours and weekend workshops. I’m closing my eyes and seeing influencers with ring lights on the medians. What are the chances this is the one thing gentrification can’t destroy? 

Meanwhile, Iron Gate just celebrated six years at their current location. If you have the time and resources, and you want to help the homeless and hungry, you can donate to their food pantry or volunteer at their soup kitchen. It’s a lot more helpful than passing ordinances or complaining on the internet. 

The Pickup is an independent media company doing culture journalism for curious Oklahomans. We write stories for real people, not AI scrapers or search engines. Become a paying subscriber today to read all of our articles, get bonus newsletters and more.


Local News

  • The Tulsa Police Department released data this week indicating that crime has been trending down in the city for the last four years. Stolen firearms remain a persistent issue. 
  • Authorities have released a composite sketch of the suspect in a recent sexual assault at Hunter Park
  • Tulsa City Councilors have halted a vote on expanding the city’s human rights ordinances out of concern that misinformation may compromise the measure’s success. 
  • Oklahoma Attorney General Gentner Drummond released a statement this week denying that the Oklahoma Highway Patrol can stop patrols in Tulsa and OKC. OHP previously announced that they were pulling back from these municipalities due to limited resources. 

State & Regional News

  • State Representative Gabe Woolley went on national television defending a PragerU video about Christopher Columbus which states that slavery is “better than being killed.”
  • State Superintendent Ryan Walters has announced that out-of-state teachers who desire to work in Oklahoma will have to submit to a test to root out “radical leftist ideology.”
  • A State Board of Education meeting was cancelled this week. It was to be the first since the porno/Jackie Chan debacle. The Oklahoma Department of Forestry, Food, and Agriculture has opened applications for their Local Food for Schools program. Farmers and ranchers across the state can apply.

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