On October 9th, 2009, Trueson Daugherty arrived in Oklahoma to meet Zia Bowles, the woman he might marry. That might sound strange unless you understand the world he and Zia grew up in. Both were born into the Unification Church, where arranged marriages are common, and matches are typically facilitated through parents or church leadership. When Trueson turned 18, he told his mom he was ready.
At the time they were both in school, with Zia studying Fine Arts and Trueson pursuing Graphic Design; he was living in Virginia, and she was in Turley, Oklahoma. Through a web of church connections and family friendships, their names reached each other’s parents, and conversations quickly turned into plans. Photos were exchanged, though not equally. Trueson sent pictures of himself so Zia would recognize him, but he made a deliberate choice to not see her beforehand.
“I didn’t want to know what she looked like,” he said. “I wanted to know nothing until I just met her for the first time, which is not really the way it’s done, but that was my preference.” When he finally arrived in Turley, everything was unknown—including where in the world he was—except the intention behind it.
What followed were three months of calls, texts, and long conversations, the slow unfolding of personalities that usually comes on a first date. In this case, the stakes were much higher.
Later, when Zia came to Virginia to meet his family, something shifted for Trueson. “That was when I really started falling for her. And I was like, I think this girl is cool. I think I want to marry her.”
While certainty came quickly to Trueson, for Zia, the experience required more time.